I told myself that it would get better…

But it didn’t…my day sucked. I woke up early and told myself that today was going to be a better day, but it wasn’t. I got to my office and sat down quietly waiting for the day’s instructions from my manager. Can you imagine, she didn’t even greet me or ask me how I was. She then began to bark out orders, gave us a list of work to do and then carried on speaking to her favourites. I felt invisible. When I looked at the work I was given to do, it seemed absolutely pointless. Why should I have to waste my time doing these random tasks when there were so many more useful things to do. So, I decided that I should have a chat with my colleague to see how she was doing. And guess what? I was shouted at, told to keep it down and was threatened with a written warning. How could this be fair?

By 9:30 I really needed a bathroom break, but we have very strict tea times. The dragon lady told me that I would just need to hang tight and wait until tea time as it might set a bad precedent. She then looked me up and down, told me to go and wash my hands, tuck in my shirt and get my hair sorted as it was not appropriate for the office. Who did she think she was?! I hated feeling like a failure every day, being ignored and having to do things that I didn’t see the point of.

You will be glad to hear that this a fictional story! If it wasn’t, most of you would have told me to resign today!

But it might sound familiar to many of our children – and they don’t have the choice to leave. No wonder so many of our children dislike school and learning, or act out. I certainly would! On the flip side, imagine having a class of over 30 children who are all demanding your attention, you have a curriculum to get through, forms to fill in and never mind the mountains of marking and planning every day. A perfect storm in my opinion!

But change can happen…but it needs us to lead the process! At Building Blocks, we believe that building strong relationships is the first key to teaching. I think we would all agree that we thrive in environments where we feel safe, valued and cared for. In this blog I want to share some ideas to help make learning more enjoyable and meaningful for children and their educators alike (whether it be a tutor, teacher or parent) ? So here goes…

1. Develop a consistent morning routine.

How you start your day is vital for your attitude and how you approach the day. For example, if I snooze too long, miss my morning cup of tea and then rush into the office without having a chance to connect with my colleagues, ten to one my day is not going to be my most productive and happy one. In the same way, we need to ensure that when starting our day or session with our young ones that we start it off on the right note. Here are some ideas on how to start the day off right:

Greet your children with a smile. And say it like you mean it! You have the wonderful opportunity to speak into young ones lives and make them feel valuable. Let them know how much they mean to you and how excited you are to spend the day with them. However, let’s face it, we all have bad days where we would rather spend the day in bed watching series or reading a book. But remember, you are responsible for starting the day off right for your children.
Create a care circle. Sometimes we need more time to connect. Care circles are a wonderful way for each child to share how they are feeling and share their news in a safe space.
Set up ‘news buddies’. If you are working with groups of children or are leading a whole class, let the children divide into pairs or groups of three. During this time, they should each get a chance to share their news with a friend and therefore have the opportunity to share how they are doing. A great way to assist in developing their emotional expression is by using a picture board with multiple “emotion faces”. The child gets to choose an icon and share how they are feeling and why.

2. Ensure boundaries are in place.

Imagine a world where everyone could do what they wanted to do and when they wanted to do this – this would have catastrophic consequences! Your role as the adult is to help set the boundaries. These are not a means to force children to do what you want and be a dictator. Boundaries are rather a way to provide a safety net for children where they feel secure to learn and explore in a trusted environment and where they can express their unique personalities. Boundaries are essentially jointly agreed-upon rules and responsibilities of acceptable behaviour. (NB: This does depend on the age of the children you are working with!)

3. Create a class learning contract.

To be honest, I don’t like being told what to do or being forced to do something just because somebody else has decided that this is the way how things should be done. And I’m sure that I am not alone in this! When we teach learners, we can often fall into the trap of trying to make our learners conform, do what they are told and to do it in the way we think best. We then expect these same “schooled conformists” to be creative, confident adults who are able to reason and change the world and are surprised when they struggle to take responsibility for their own actions. Instead of conforming, we need to equip our youngsters from an early age with the understanding that they have rights and responsibilities. They must learn to take ownership of their learning and understand that their actions have consequences. A great way to do this is to brainstorm together and come up with a negotiated contract. Here are some tips:

Focus on positive behaviour. For example, a group rule could be “treat everyone like you would like to be treated”, rather than “don’t gossip”.
Come up with agreed upon consequences. In this way you are not forcing your own set of rules on the learner, but rather letting them learn that their behaviour has consequences.
By having a negotiated contract, the rules are well understood and the reason for them being disciplined is known. A sense of ownership and in a sense “good” peer pressure is developed.
Allow children to come up with their own rewards to create positive reinforcement. For example, “if we finish all our work we are allowed five minutes of screen time”.

4. Visual timetable

For me, a workshop really seems to drag when a focus is not given and there is no indication given of the structure of the day. I find this very unsettling, struggle to focus and am pretty drained by the end of the day. Me, like many others, need an element of structure to thrive. A good way to help learners in your group or class is to provide a visual timetable of the day. This gives them clarity on what is required of them and allows them to plan their day.

To develop a sense of ownership of the day and to teach the skill of prioritising and planning, you could also negotiate with the children on how to structure the day. For example, we have handwriting, mental maths and reading to do. Find out which order the children would like to do it in. This creates a sense of ownership of the day and allows the children to have a say in the classroom setup.

5. Celebrate special moments and have fun!

If I think back on my school days, I think that you may agree that while knowing how to add and count is vital, it is how people made me feel that was most important. So relax, have some fun, celebrate birthdays, jump around to a movement song, and make your children feel special.

6. Be real – you aren’t perfect.

Learn to laugh at yourself! When I started teaching, I thought I was the bee’s knees. I had done my research, was well-prepared (well…textbook ready) and thought that I had a good approach to teaching. I shared my ideas with my mother – a teacher with over 20 years of experience – and she never judged. I told her that relationship is important, you don’t need to raise your voice and going down to a child’s level and engaging with them at their level is super important. As it turns out, I followed through with this approach only to be sitting on a couch early on a Saturday morning and finding out that I had lice ☹ My engaging at the child’s level surely had been productive! This experience taught me that working with children can be messy, but you need to learn to laugh at yourself. Also, be humble and listen to those who have gone before you ?
But remember that you are the adult. It is good for children to see you experience different emotions. To be honest, I don’t trust people who smile all the time – they remind me of scary clowns. Whether we like it or not, children will model what they see. So use difficult situations as learning opportunities – model conflict management or tolerance of others etc. But, remember you are the adult, so you need to provide containment for your young ones to make them feel safe at all times.

These points are not earth-shattering. However, they really have enriched my experiences of working with children. For me, the first couple of days should not just be about academics, but ultimately should be about building foundations for working together, building mutual understanding, instilling trust that “I’m not going anywhere” and that I believe in my learners.

In the next blog I will be sharing some ideas on how to structure your sessions or lessons with your children to assist with engagement and developing a love for learning. Until then, happy relationship building! ?